12/07/17 - 3:18 p.m.

I have this long-standing tradition of writing here when my girlfriend is annoying. Someone told her she was smart enough to get a job at Google, and I asked if she'd be interested in that.

Instead of answering the question, she danced around it. That's what was so frustrating. Maybe that was the real answer -- that she's so terrified of the prospect that she can't even think about it, won't dare speak its name. Instead she starts telling me a story about being at a conference, and talking to someone about someone else who was working at a big tech company, and how they'd said something back which had made a lot of sense...

All that to say, "It depends on the boss." Okay, fine. But when we go through the conversation a bit more, she ends up saying that what she hates most is applying for those jobs. That I wouldn't understand, since I haven't done it the way she has. I think now that she was basically just fighting for her right to be scared. Okay, fine, whatever. It's just I don't usually see her scared like that...

And what am I supposed to do now? Come home and say "Hi! Are you not-frightened yet? Or are we going to have another weird conversation where you can't actually telling me what's bothering you?"

Anyways, I'm going to stay away for a while. Stay out here in the world -- with the brave and the strong.