06/05/08 - 5:51 p.m.

So I think I just figured out something.

I used to say that I had to act a certain way because of my parents -- that I needed to make sure that they kept taking care of me. But it might've been a little more selfish than that.

Kids are really trying to make sure their parents like them. And even if the kids are trying to get taken care of -- that's an emotional thing as much as a survival thing. And more to the point -- with me it got to the point of indulging in the luxury of not really doing anything. School was easy, childhood was low-responsibility. I think at some point I started trying to enjoy that, probably a little too much. Instead of the harder, but ultimately more useful, work of learning how to accomplish stuff.