4/13/02 - 9:41 p.m.

I have no idea what's going on with me today.

Oh, hi everybody, I'm back from vacation.

My mind is popping all around, like I'm trying to avoid something. Doing my taxes? Waking up to years of neglect? Maybe I'm just lonely.

I think on my vacation, I felt an unfamiliar twinge of self confidence. And now that I'm back in my old surroundings, I'm worried I'll get sucked into my old patterns.

An old friend called, but they just wanted a favor. Someone suggested a new web site for future career options, but it was really lame. I'm also worried I didn't do a good job on my short-term project. I dug up some old emails, and I was remembering the past more than usual. Maybe I've just got one foot in my old personality and one in my new...

I think the glow from the trip is slowly wearing off, and I don't want it to. I'm just not sure where to put that energy...