10/19/2023 - 12:10 a.m.

I was feeling bad about an email I sent to a friend. And it's not because I said something mean to them.

It's that I didn't stand up for myself.

But I won a certain kind of talent contest. And I feel great. Like I'm *magic* ... I can't lose. Young MLB players must feel this way. "I'm big league potential now!"

But things get weird with your old friends...

You just don't feel like you can flash around that much confidence. So you feign surprise. "My gosh, I had no idea that I'd do this well. Just think of all the reasons I had for self doubt..."

But that's a lie. I feel great. And you can't perform at this level without going into it with confidence. You need both ability and confidence. And I have them, and I know I have them.

But then what do you say to your friends? I really do think high-level professionals must go through this - all of them, at some point. "Look, I'm special..." I dunno; at some point I guess maybe you need new friends.

It's why movie stars marry other movie stars...