11/25/08 - 2:43 a.m.

I remembered something.

I used to feel good about myself. Maybe it was adolescent narcissism -- but I remembered what it felt like.

Tonight I wanted to win a game on the internet. And when I lost, I felt like I'd missed a chance to feel good about myself. And that was when I reminded myself -- that I didn't use to have to win in order for that to happen.