3/19/02 - 5:21 p.m.

Something funny happened last night. Friday Date called, wanting to see me again this week. She already showed signs of wanting more from me than I want to give, but I agreed to come over Tuesday. She said she might call again -- and sure enough, the phone rang later that night.

But it was Lady Friend.

For those of you who are new to my diary, I'm secretly in love/friendly devotion to Lady Friend. After I'd carried a torch since December, the two of us dated briefly in February, until she decided that she wasn't ready for this. Yet. She specified. "Yet...."

Now I enjoy every moment we're able to spend together, and I'm carrying a secret torch for her -- of some kind. Though I'm not 100% sure I'm in love with her or just delighted by her openness, warmth, compassion, and respect. All caught up? Okay, good.

So you can see why it would be a big deal that Lady Friend called me. (She never calls me; just email.) It was a big step for me to even go out with anyone else -- that is, Friday Date -- and even then, I'd already decided in advance that I wasn't ready to fall for anybody else -- and if I was, certainly not Friday Date.

So, ironically, I'm off to her place in an hour for dinner.

And the remainder of this journal entry will be about Lady Friend. When I think about her happy face in that humble-yet-stylish hairdo, I feel this odd exhiliaration. And I love her voice. A drugged-out coo, I guess, except the only drug she's on is working too hard.

She said she likes it when I email her. I should be writing an email to her right now. The only problem is she's so important to me, writing the email is kind of a big deal too. I sit and think of what I want to say to her, and how to say it, and make sure I'm not saying anything that will scare her off....

I'm going to finish up an email to her now, though, before I head off for the rest of my night. I still haven't found a job yet -- but at least it's giving me the time I need to manage my complex social life!