01/04/2021 - 5:13 p.m.
So I got mad at my girlfriend. I really hate that -- because I do care about her. She did something that I thought she shouldn't when we're all supposed to be sheltering in place. Just a little thing -- just for a minute or two, and everyone wore a mask, so it's okay, right? But I launched into my speech about how it's safer to stay home. Which is true, but... I dunno, I didn't ever really calculate the math - -I just jumped straight to "How could you?"
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And I feel bad about that.
The weirdest thing is she isn't upset and seems to appreciate my abundance of concern. But my worry is I'm becoming one of those guys who jumps on everybody else. I only really get that way about really big-scale things like "safety issues". I guess now that I think about the percentages -- I was right; it is safer to just stay home. (I know someone who wore a mask and still got covid.) A small bit safer -- but does that even matter? Safer is safer. When we can, we should. The vaccine is, what, 16 weeks away or something?
Okay, but even so: I'm still not pleased with how I conveyed that information. When you think somebody did something wrong -- someone you care about -- you're supposed to approach delicately and respectfully. But I went in there with exasperation. When we had our talk about it -- and again, she was okay with what I'd said -- I approached it more evenly, as the problem just being too much temptation when we do leave the house. We even put in place proactive steps to reduce the number of times we're leaving the house in the future. So yay, a productive conversation, which results in a net increase in our overall safety. Hooray for me and my steadfast cautiousness.
But I don't like the initial "went in there with exasperation" part. I was tired and busy, and this was unexpected. Just overworked, I guess. And this was gratuitously frivolous. I dunno, maybe my reaction was totally reasonable. But I'm still sorry I didn't initially broach the subject with more tenderness, because that's the way I want to show up in the relationship.