05/25/16 - 2:03 p.m.

So my girlfriend is bugging me again. It's just that she's always around. Yesterday I was tired and cranky, and told her so. But we had to take a four-hour car drive together, and she just could not leave me alone. Talking over the music, reading out billboards. Although to be fair, I was really cranky -- and really tired.

So I kind of resented her holding her cellphone about two feet from my face at lunch. That's either because I was really cranky, or because I was justifiably upset at this intrusion of my personal space. Then she shoves her phone over toward me without warning, and I push it away. This created an awkward tension...

So in my head I was formulating this whole rant about how she can't leave me alone. And yet, unbeknownst to me, she actually has this long-standing fear about not booking hotels in advance. Which she doesn't say to me. She doesn't even say that she's annoyed by how quiet I am. But she is annoyed. And so, that's where the trouble starts.

I want to lay all that on her. "If you had just *said* that you wanted to stay in the little cottage hotels, then I would've said 'Fine, if you really want that'..." But instead she chose not to say it -- and then was really upset about it. After making me sit through a long conversation this morning where we went over all of her grievances, we sort of traced everything back to that. I guess my position is that when you don't speak up about what you want, you don't get to then complain later on when you don't actually get it.

So then she's feeling upset and doing vindictive things, and I'm like "What the hell?" Maybe I'm really mad because she was sarcastic with me -- out of the blue, it seemed like. I think there were *two* secret anxieties she had - one about booking hotels in advance, and one that stopped her from speaking up about what she wanted.

So, yes, that's where the trouble came from. I'm trying to make more of an effort to keep communication going - even when I am tired and cranky. It's probably a good thing, something I've learned -- the importance of maintaining communication even when you are feeling tired and cranky.

So okay, something for me to work on. But I still think more of the problem was coming from her.

And now I have the issue that -- she and I are both lying around the hotel room. And I kind of want some space, after that whole spontaneous freak-out which turned out to be precipitated by her secret, silent anxieties. My real question is: what am I supposed to do now? I think it's reasonable to want some space, and good and healthy.

But I'm too tired to leave the hotel room bed -- and she doesn't want to leave either.