03/15/14 - 3:00 p.m.

My downstairs neighbor just complained. All he does is complain. To be fair to him, he was woken up. But to be fair to us, it was three in the afternoon.

I asked him when he works, so we could be sure not to wake him up. And to be fair, he answered honestly -- that it varies. Er, assuming that was an honest answer. It could just be him saying "Don't walk too loud on the stairs or slam the door ever. And to force you to do that, I'm going to say 'My work hours vary, so just don't you ever do it'."

And - to be fair - he did feel kind of apologetic to be asking about it...although that was while he was asking about it. Maybe I feel all this pent up anger because I didn't say, "Um, I don't know what to tell you. I'm not sorry, and I'll probably do it again....

"You and I aren't really friends -- the only time I ever see you is when you're complaining about something. Literally. I have never had a conversation with you when you weren't complaining about something. After a while, I stop caring." Typing that out makes me feel better because - yeah, there's that.

I didn't say anything, because how exactly do you say that? "Um, we've decided you're kind of a young narcissist, who only cares about having things his way. Maybe you're so young you've never really had to live in a shared space before. But, anyways, we don't care. It's a little awkward when you bring it up again anyways. I guess that's your leverage -- this "social censure" which you think you can bring down. But look, you're going to hear people on the stairs, at the door, and it's just a reasonable part of every day life."

A ruder man might say 'Deal with it.' I just said "I'll pass that on to my girlfriend," and then walked away. Hopefully there was some social censure there, too. It's almost kind of laughable, in a way. When I walk in the front door, will I think "Uh-oh, everyone tip-toe so we don't bother our downstairs neighbor?" No, I'll probably snicker, and think "Our downstairs neighbor thinks he's the king of the entry way. Har har -- probably thinks he owns Sweden, too." If he comes out and complains about the noise, I'll have to try not to smile and smirk. Um, okay, yeah, we'll try to keep that in mind.

Just for the record, he wasn't exactly a stellar neighbor when it came to leaving the front light on. I had to remind him about that, because -- guess what, he doesn't give a crap. My girlfriend even had a long talk with him about it...but he still forgot, and I had to remind him about that.

Maybe that's what made him feel he could come to us about his concerns over the doorway. And (to be fair one more time), my girlfriend did slam the door really loud one day this week. So "passing this along to my girlfriend" might be the right thing to do. Honestly, she probably uses the door more than me anyways. So I'll leave her to handle this.

When I'm not smirking...