03/01/14 - 5:25 p.m.

I always try to be perfect. I always tried to be perfect, when I was very young. Earlier this week it occured to me that the world really doesn't work that way. The strangest thing is how long I went without ever realizing that...

I'm taking a class online now, and they've videotaped the professor, the sections, etc. It's kind of fun to "go back to college" now that I'm older, and I think I'm better at it. But I'm also seeing what you do need to do while you're learning, and what you don't. And (as they say) most of what you do on the job will be different anyways - so, then that raises the question, what part of the class really is required

I have trouble finding a good job, too, but that's really the same issue. I burn out because I'm trying to be perfect at the job, and then end up not liking them or having any joy left for the work. I can actually still feel that emotion when I think back to all the stress of that one job I had a few years back. Don't try to be perfect, is one lesson.

And another one is, don't think your employer will expect you to be perfect. But I'm still learning all this. I'm not sure how to move forward - but honestly, that's an improvement.

Over thinking I have to be perfect...