01/02/14 - 1:01 p.m.

I had a nice relaxing day off from work on New Year's Day. I felt good, and I was puttering around on the couch. I made sure our cat had enough water and food in her bowls, and then came back to the bedroom. And then my girlfriend started revving up a rant about something I'd done...

And I think I won't get over it until I get angry about it. I did get angry about it at the time, but I don't really do it right. I don't yell and bluster - I do a very controlled, righteous analysis, with a couple of passive-aggressive rejoinders...all in a very low-key voice. And the truth of it is, that just isn't satisfying, because I didn't get to get just plain mad.

I'd asked her how she was doing, if she wanted to talk. She didn't say anything, so about 30 seconds later I left the room for a second. It turns out that she hadn't noticed, started talking, and then was angry with me for having not been there. And my position is Hey! I was trying to be nice and have a conversation, and you've somehow turned this into something I've done wrong...

It's really hard for me to be angry about what happened when I was trying to be nice to my girlfriend. It just makes me want to shake my head. Way to not be there for me. And how am I supposed to go forward and be nice to her again next time. "Gee, I sure hope she doesn't take my head off out of the blue over this again for no reason, like she did the last time..."

She said she felt "vulnerable" over something at work -- and later, that she just always gets weird on the holidays. But is that enough of an answer? "Oh, okay then...."