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09/15/13 - 8:42 p.m.

So, mad at my girlfriend again. I only come here to complain, so don't think that it's always like this. But today I broke a mug in the bathroom. And when she heard it, I asked if it was a special mug or something, and she said yes.

And then she said she didn't want to talk about it...

I wish there were a reality TV show about our life, because when you fast forward to the scene where she explains why it's important, it turns out that it's just something she bought at a garage sale less than 2 years ago. So it's not like it has sentimental value, or that it reminds her of someone who's not in her life any more. What it's really about is she had a bad dream this morning (which involved the bathroom) so the mug cheers her up when she's in there, and now it's broken... And mostly she's just really stressed out from her new job.

So the trouble starts, as it often does, with her saying "No, I'm too tired to even get up and make lunch." Then she gets really hungry, and so when she's finally preparing lunch it's suddenly a crisis -- and, of course, at that point she's "low on energy". So of course she's not going to want to talk about anything at that point. But then I'm going to walk right into.

So there'll be some ordinary relationship thing like, "Whoops, I broke a mug." And instead of saying, "The dustpan's in the closet, honey" there's this colossal moment of insensitivity instead. Where she'll only be able to say "It was important to me" -- but then not to have any more conversation after that point. (You're welcome!)

We talked about it later, and I pointed out what a drastic move it is to say "I'm incapable of talking to you for the indefinite future. But I'm upset." And also that this is the kind of crap that's going to happen when she doesn't take care of herself. She basically creates all this drama in her life by letting everything fall apart. Then she "accidentally" really angers someone by just being focused on her own interior meltdown -- and then gets to enjoy feeling sorry for herself about whatever happens after!

UPDATE: So it's three days later. I think you have to recognize that it was a miscommunication. That's going to happen pretty easily if one party just decides not to talk - but a lot of what I'm really mad about actually comes from that miscommunication. The only problem now is I have trouble letting go of that anger -- in part because I had to hang onto it for another full hour before my girlfriend was finally ready to talk about it. So then I'm supposed to be letting go of it...

The other part of the problem is I try not to get mad at her -- when it probably would be healthier just to get it all out, because I'm angry anyways. It just boggles my mind that she could bobble the communication process so absolutely and thoroughly -- and on a day where I have a lot going on already. I mean, really - it boggles my mind. But I guess that's what happens when you decide it's time to not communicate -- sometimes, it's possible to then do that on the worst possible day.

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