08/14/12 - 4:32 p.m.

My girlfriend loves me. And it makes it easy to work things out, because we care about what each other is feeling.

I was thinking what a shame it was that I grew up where that wasn't really the case. My brother and sister didn't really have that, for example, so you start out with a devaluing of your own wants. Anyways, leave it all behind. Don't give that "first origin" any weight more than it merits...

In fact, I'm going to start thinking of my "family of origin" as barbarians. It's a nice metaphor...

     *     *     *

I almost forgot the most important part of that. I'd been looking back on a woman I'd dated back in 1998. (Let's call her Katwoman.) And it occurred to me that it's just an example of how you live your life when you grew up where people don't care what you're feeling. That when I look back on that whole period of my life, I can totally see that connection, that influence - between not valuing myself, and the choices I made in early relationships.

I'd like to just settle in to my life now. But every once in a while, when I do look back, I'll have to remember to watch for that...