06/06/12 - 11:17 a.m.

My real mistake was thinking I made a mistake...

It was late, I was tired, and I confused "activating the screen-saver" with "turning off the screen." This meant that I thought I'd made a mistake in my computer code -- because now, it wasn't working when I turned on the screen-saver. But guess what? It never worked when I turned on the screen-saver. That was my mistake. That I thought I'd made that mistake...

So I'm here to proclaim, proudly, before all of these people, and with good will in my heart... No mistake was made, and no guilt is due. I am forgiven for that of which I am innocent. Forgiveness flows; and acceptance of that forgiveness should follow.

However, I then tried to fix the mistake that wasn't there, and at some point I think I actually introduced a new mistake. It's easy to "conflate" the two senses of guilt. Because ironically, I created the situation that had not existed in the first place -- until I tried to fix it!

It's a messy situation, but you should applaud me for what I did next. I stuck with it - staying up late, plowing through the guilt and confusion, trying lots of new things... Eventually I found one that I think will work. But could we also just gave me some credit, for then doing the right thing?

And also, realizing my error. And recognizing that I was being hard on myself. And taking time to try to come down.

Yay, me...