Get your own
 diary at DiaryLand.com! contact me older entries newest entry

04/21/12 - 4:09 p.m.

So I'm telling myself not to get mad about last night. Because, after all - Stoned! The mistake I made was not recognizing it sooner...

Which, of course, does translate into "The mistake I made was wanting to talk to my girlfriend." But I don't think it's good to extrapolate from that bad experience.

Strangely, I felt better today when I apologized to her for cutting her off -- while she was babbling away in a marijuana haze. I guess just because that took that "off the plate." I had been hurt that she snapped at me, but if she was feeling cut off -- from babbling in her pot-fueled haze - she's still feeling hurt, and yeah, I don't like it when she feels hurt.

Sure, a lot of this is just really wretched communication on her part. I guess that's always going to be a frustrating experience. Hooray! We've validated the importance of communication. But, yeah, maybe I should start watching more for situations where that's been compromised - and then just stay away. "I'll come back when you're coherent..."

Also, we couldn't talk it out because she p*ssed me off and then went to bed - when I came back from walking her dog for her she was snoring away. I fumed for about an hour, went to bed, and then her dog started barking at 2 a.m. and woke me up, and then I couldn't sleep again for another hour, fuming.

And then - get this - when she wakes up, she's surprised that I'm angry, and then p*ssed off that I'm not in a good mood...

Eventually there was screaming - probably more screaming than she's done in a long time. I told her later maybe it was good, because at least she got it all to the surface. Somewhere inside of all that is communication. She told me she was really stressed from this week.

The second week at a new job is stressful. The fact that they're not paying her is stressful. Er, that's kind of a problem for me too, though, because I end up loaning her money to tide her over. It's spread across two places - what's on my credit card, plus cash I've just handed over to her. I do trust that she'll pay me back. It's also going to be a long time.

But that's not really the issue. The issue is that despite everything I did for her this week, she still got really stressed out. She just does a really, really crappy job of dealing with stress. Maybe I should also send her to a counselor.

Pick another - Previous - Next


about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at DiaryLand.com!