04/21/12 - 12:23 a.m.

So I come home, and my girlfriend is stoned. (Because it's 4/20. AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!@!!) Whatever, right? I'm in a great mood, because I just went to my first baseball game of the season. But she says she's too stoned to talk about that.

Oh, but she's not too stoned to talk! And soon, I realize it's not going to be a normal conversation... Like, where I say things and she responds to them. Or where I can follow the train of thought. But rather than being a jerk about it, I just try to get out of the conversation.

So I ask her if I should take her dog for a walk. And she's TOO STONED to answer the question! I think she started thinking about how to answer the question, and then started thinking about something else. Anyways, after she babbles away for another three minutes or so -- saying it was going to be about one thing, when it turns out it's about another thing -- I ask her again if I should take her dog for a walk. And then -- get this -- she's hurt and offended that I didn't let her continue talking!!!

Which I explain to her, without getting into an argument, as I'm on the way out. I think there's a glimmer in her head that this is her fault. She says something generically sweet, presumably in lieu of an actual apology.

And when I get home, she's already asleep and snoring.