05/11/11 - 10:29 a.m.

*sigh* I have anger management issues...

I looked up tips using Google. They make sense. Get some exercise -- I've seen that work. Express your anger *later* in a non-confrontational way. Use "I" so the expression is about your anger and not an attack. Focus your energy on constructive solutions for the future.

Also, I went back and re-traced the conversation. I see what I did - someone promised me two designs (but only delivered one), then promised us two more later, but didn't say when. In my head I remember that as they'd *promised* us three and underdelivered (instead of promising TWO and undelivering, while changing their promise to a total of three at a later date). And oh yeah, they'd also promised us timelines, which they also didn't deliver.

Not only did they not answer the e-mail, but they didn't answer the phone when I called. But they were able to fire off an expensive (late) invoice for the work done so far. I guess I'm trying to figure out a way to forgive myself for the error I made. I think somewhere in there I had a valid issue.

And my anger was useful. My business partner responded with an insight into the culture of Indian contractors -- they hate to admit mistakes. Also, I eventually fixed one of the settings on my e-mail account that had been making it hard to track the conversations. And of course, within hours of the next morning we had received new work from the team. So maybe I helped keep our timeline from slipping.

I guess I'm just surprised that I was so angry Monday night. I had imagined some really nasty what-if scenarios - but when we received another design this morning, it obviously has the potential to be very reassuring. Not only the fact that we received designs, but the fact that communication was happening again. I guess I've learned a valuable lesson: I *can* get a response within hours in an emergency. That should also have the potential to be very re-assuring.

I guess there is one more question. Are things under control now? We did get another two designs, and the promised timelines. [Though they were a little skimpy.) we went back and asked for more detail, and for a way to address the communication issues going forward. And now I'm not going to let a single qusetion slip under the radar; I'm going to put the time in to do a better job of tracking what we've been asking. [I don't ask questions frivolously, so when I do make a comment -- it's passed my "vetting" and been evaluated as genuinely important.]

It's a commitment to more time. [And it bothers me a bit that our programmer was the one who requested this -- so I'm basically knuckling to his whims now.] But I've given myself a few days, and it is a solution that works. Plus, when we get live team meetings going, we'll be doing this live, so there wno't be this dangerous delay (where I could have the potential to forget).