01/23/09 - 10:40 p.m.

Barack Obama is president now.

I think I was a little co-dependent on my government. And it was bugging me when things went wrong after 2001. Probably more than it should've, in retrospect. I mean, there are some things you can't control.

I'm going back and reading my old journal entries from early 2002. I think I had two problems, right off the bat. 1.) I was waiting for some external force to fix my problems. And 2.) I wasn't really in touch with myself.

Where does the government fit in to all this? Well, I guess when you're not in touch with yourself, you are more dependent on external forces to solve your problems. I needed the quiet dignity of Russians under communism -- our hearts and our souls are our own, and they comfort us in times of national strife. Instead of agonizing that "The government's screwing up. So NOW who will fix my problems?"

It seems like -- whatever caused my feelings -- I ought to be able to let some of them go now. But I wonder if I would've felt that way if someone else had been inaugurated on Tuesday? There's lots of talk in the air about being "post-partisan."....

In 2002, I was doing a bad job of taking care of myself, or even listening to myself. I guess it could be a good thing to let go of some other behaviors from that era.