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01/25/08 - 10:29 p.m.

Yesterday I went back and read some old emails that I wrote four years ago. I was much more confident back then.

And then tonight, I had a flash of insight... Ever since I left my last job, I've been trying not to think about what happened. But I need to think about what happened, to rescue myself and restore that old confidence...

So much of what I do follows that pattern. I tell myself I need to not work, to waste some time watching TV "to rest." But the opposite could be true. I need to continue doing what I'm doing, not interrupt my grown-up momentum.

To not rest.

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