12/05/07 - 6:53 p.m.

Depressed. Not sure why.

I sent a friend an email about something he did yesterday. Didn't hear back. Maybe that's it. The email was non-chalant -- a casual "Hey dude what's up with that?" And that felt wrong, because I was really pissed, and he was my friend so I should've been able to tell him how I felt.

That was putting myself out there, since the original plan had been to not let him know that I knew it was him. I trusted him by letting him know I knew -- and not making a big deal about the bad thing. And then: no reply.

Maybe I just shouldn't have friends whose loyalty can be trumped by their own internal anxieties. Maybe I get too excited about the fact that someone really needs me.

Independence starts here.