02/18/07 - 1:55 p.m.

I look back on how wild I was a kid. ("Neglectful parents", you could say -- although maybe I just project my current "lost boy" status onto how I remember myself as a kid.) I was, of course, fascinated by John McEnroe later on, and the idea that his brattiness was mixed with brilliance.

I do have -- well, many talents, actually. Too wide to inventory, perhaps -- it's why I was confident enough to stop keeping track altogether. But I can, and when I do they're there.

I am a little brattish. But I recognize that. And some of that came from unhappy situations. (Although if that's going to be the excuse, then it increases the imperative to improve the sitations.)

Does the whole key to everything, then, rest in me finding a better job?