02/06/07 - 8:37 p.m.

I'm so mad I can't think.

I walked in the door feeling pretty good. But then remembered my employer gave me the wrong kind of health insurance. And then didn't answer the email when we'd asked about changing it.

That just makes me so furious.

I don't know why health insurance is always such a button for me. It's not really rational. It's just so vitally important -- it's literally a matter of life and death, and can also wipe you out financially.

Maybe that's it, though -- what I just said. It's me trying to make it as dramatic as possible, because the truth is, I don't think anybody really cares. The breezy receptionist who f*cked up our health insurance three times over the last 18 months, then sends yet-another form with half the information missing... This time she can just say "La, la, you filled your form out wrong."

It's not even her decision to make. And I see that it is partly my fault, because I thought I'd answered the health insurance question on my own when choosing the form, when I hadn't. So that explains at least how it happened.

It's odd. That actually calms me down. Now that I know how it happened.

But it would be nice if they would answer their F*CKING email. This happens all the time with these people -- health insurance question? [dead silence]

I DON'T THINK THEY REALIZE HOW FREAKED I GET ABOUT HEALTH INSURANCE.

I remember being on hold, going through voicemail menu after voicemail menu, for over an hour. It was like a nightmare, like Kafka programmed the system. And knowing that corporations do this to save money, to force the labor back onto you. No one really gives a f*ck whether you "talk to a live operator" or not. Have a concern? They don't care.

And, yes, I do have a concern. I want to be covered, and I want a specific kind of coverage. It's a reasonable thing to want. What's unreasonable is the lackadaisal way they've provided these benefits.

I've told myself to use this as the impetus for finding a new job.

What I just wrote also calms me down. Not the new job thing; the thing bfeore it. That it's reasonable to want this. It's hard for me to step up and take care of things like health insurance and taxes. I have issues around them. But when I do -- braving the stress that goes with them -- I really don't like it when there's a bunch of other sundry details also pushed back at me.

And be honest -- you never really understand your health insurance. You just hope for the best. You hope that the illness that comes your way in a year will be IN your coverage instead of OUT of your coverage. But you don't know; it's just a guess. I barely even understand the categories. And that's possibly because the information our lame-*ss receptionist gives us is spotty and incomplete. And no, there is no dedicated HR person to explain the benefits to you. That I know of.

I'm very dissatisfied with my company's administration of its health benefits. She just doesn't answer the emails that you send with questions.

I will quit, on the basis of that. I've told them this before.