02/04/07 - 3:21 p.m.

So I'm fighting the urge to waste Sunday playing games.

I told myself that if I had self-respect, I wouldn't wager my esteem on random processes which were ultimately irrelevant and even unfair.

But now what? And why am I so down?

I guess I'm feeling the disappointment over that date that wasn't. The personal ad I answered - well, let's just say the search is still on. That could be a hopeful thought, really - a rallying cry.

The other problem is I can't really think of anything to do this afternoon.