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09/27/06 - 9:39 p.m.

So it's been a weird day. The doctor's appointment was humiliating. They'd already checked me for that in July. And then the doctor asked if I ever felt depressed, and I said yes, and then told her about what I hate at work. And then on the way out I got stuck in traffic.

I have no one to talk to. And ironically, I've got a few people checking out my new online project. It's that sort of false attention that doesn't really do anything for you.

But the thing is, I'm getting closer to feeling good about myself, and being myself. I don't know why today got to me. Maybe because the stupid doctor doesn't think there's anything wrong with me physically, or keeps prescribing obvious things like "exercise" and "more sleep."

She suggested a counselor, which I'd been thinking of before too. I always hesitate at that step, though. I feel so volatile, that what would be the point? (Or maybe that IS the point?)

I felt like I almost had a nervous breakdown today. That's what it's like when you take on too much stress. The funny thing is, I have no idea what to change to address that.

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