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03/15/06 - 9:34 a.m. I probably watched too much TV as a kid. Or, anyways, for the wrong reasons. We moved, my parents were weird - and I think I just hid in the programs. It distracted me - re-runs of gaudy sitcoms blaring out the background buzz of loneliness. I thought of that last night. After a long project, a bottle of beer, and a sugar low, I decided to watch a movie. I'd seen the movie when I was a teenager - lots of color, and outdoor scenes. But when it was over, I felt like I'd binged. Like an alcoholic's relapse. The worst part is the new things I care about - I walked away from them all to watch a movie. How do you atone for that? Maybe you can't. I looked it up on the web. For relapsing alcoholics, they advise: Attempt to reduce the feeling that you are a hopeless total failure... One slip doesn't make a total failure."Do something good?" Hmm. Maybe I should phone in sick to work, so I can do something productive.
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