01/11/06 - 9:12 p.m.

I saw my counselor today.

It was good. I was really in a funk, and I didn't think she'd be able to help. But she did.

I felt so relieved, I went out and bought groceries - something I've procrastinated for the last few weeks.

And then I also started looking for a job. In earnest. I updated my online resume, focussing it on a "dream job" that I'd like even more than my current position.

I think I built up this latest job in my mind because I wanted to leave the old job so badly. But the arrangement is kind of funky - the placement agency, the city I'm in, the fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants nature of my department.

But I've lasted six months, and paid off (almost) all my credit card debt. That's an accomplishment in itself.

But talking to my counselor made me realize I'd kind of been shying away from a lot of the challenges. It's stupidly easy sometimes at work, but even then, I could probably do more to be happy there.