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12/13/05 - 1:13 a.m. Tonight I did something I don't usually do. I looked at old pictures of myself. It's like that rush of recognition you get when you catch yourself in a mirror. You flash back all at once to a whole cluster of memories you'd forgotten. I joked that I'd started getting blurry around 2002... But there's a metaphorical truth there. I'd worked so so hard at my last job. And I never did the one thing that would have healed me. Simply admitting that, to myself. "I worked very hard. It's over now. I can go back to being me again..." Maybe it took me this long to get to this place. Debts paid off, and a decent salary. A job that's shockingly easy, as long as I don't trip myself up. So now - NOW - I can let it go. Rest, warrior... Relax. Enjoy. Let it go....
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