04/19/04 - 9:06 p.m.

Tired.

Why don't I just go to bed?

Some nagging dissatisfaction, I guess. Haven't sent out enough resumes -- and haven't received positive responses from the ones I did.

Or maybe I did too many errands when I first got home from work. (Exercising; returning this weekend's video rentals; buying healthy foods; stopping at the ATM.) Maybe the lingering dissatisfaction is that I didn't take time for myself.

And now I'm too tired to.

Maybe I just bungled my diet. I skipped dinner and just had snacks all night.

There were times, in high school, when I knew where I was going and who I wanted to be. And then every day made sense. Self-direction, or something; purpose.

I feel like I'm closer to that these days.

Maybe it just takes time....