3/31/04 - 9:35 p.m.

So -- I should be sleeping. But I'm not tired. Maybe I need a junk-food binge to make me groggy...

I think it's stress at work. You do things you don't want to do. You stay late, because they're not done. And then when you finally get around to claiming your time...

Well, but, I'm doing something wrong. All my life, really, but tonight too. I just can't seem to listen to myself. To know what it is I want to do in my few hours of spare time.

Maybe I just can't let go of how much I hated my job today.

Plus, I'm waiting to hear back on a job I sent in a resume for. And if I get that job, then...it's good-bye to these sorry losers.

So stress, from toughing it out at my crappy job for one more day... Keeping me awake. Yesterday I lay in bed and read a crappy, boring book until I dropped off. If that doesn't work...I'll start over, reading it again from the beginning.

Once I leave this between-jobs limbo, maybe it'll get easier.

Or maybe I'll learn to listen to myself.