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6/04/02 - 7:44 p.m.

Okay, I should probably update my diary. I'm really tired from my new job. I wonder if I'm just going to gradually get worn down from the slow grind.

I mean, I really don't think there's anything wrong with the job, so much as that I'm just in a crappy mood today. But I decided I was just cranky because I didn't get to take my usual lunch-hour nap. (Errands.) It wasn't the best day, either. They started dumping more work on me, although mostly it was just that I was already used to stretching out small amounts of work to fill the 8 hours. Plus there are the stray moments where I wonder if my co-workers like or appreciate me.

Whatever. I really just wanted a job where I could sit down and do something stupid and then end up with a paycheck at the end of the week. I didn't want to get caught in some kind of "He never SMILES or SAYS HI" backlash. Or the opposite backlash. "He tries to SMILE and SAY HI too often. He's such a phoney." What do you people want from me? I just want a friggin' job.

So enough about that. I don't know which is worse when I get home -- having too few emails, or having too many. It was kind of nice to have a bunch of old friends who suddenly decided to start corresponding again -- but it did take up some of my precious after-work hours.

Ah well -- I really do enjoy the time I spend online. Maybe I should send more emails to my friends, instead of wasting time resting....

What's bad about today, though, is I'm in one of those moods where I just haven't stopped all day -- so I'm cut off from myself, almost. And I don't have the wherewithal to recognize that that's bad right away -- soon enough to actually do something about it before I go to bed and then get up to hop on the treadmill.

I'm going to talk to my trusted friend tomorrow. Maybe that will help. And writing in this diary helps a little too.

I know this probalby isn't that interesting to read. Think of it as a random snapshot of where my head's at right now. I could use some coffee. Hell, I haven't even had dinner yet. Maybe all this fatigue is just my body giving me a sign...

Who would've thought it. The answer to all of life's problems is: calories.

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