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5/11/02 - 12:43 p.m.

Lady Friend and I talked for a long time the other day.

I know more about her now. Maybe I have some idea of the life she wishes she'd had. This is somehow reassuring. At least I can imagine what would be shared if she and I got together somehow.... It seems strange sometimes that I developed whatever feelings I have for her -- the over-sized crush, let's call it -- before I really knew her.

I love her voice. I hate it when we aren't able to talk for a long time.

So we talked again, and she told me things. If I tried to read something into the fact that she shared this with me, I'd be thinking too much. Which I don't want to do...

I really don't know how she sees me. I think I asked her once. I got an answer with minimal details...

I'm adhering to that inspired flash of zen-like clarity I had when we were dating. Be yourself, enjoy being together. Beyond that it's out of your control. Love is something that descends from elsewhere.

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