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3/01/02 - 3:55 p.m.

I hadn't even wanted to have that first date. That friend-of-a- friend from last week.

But last night we went to the movies. And then out to a restaurant. And then she drove me home. And looked straight at me when I turned to say goodbye. Not the pre-emptive hand thrust out for a shake. Not the lunge past my head, that classic "Hug yes, kiss no" move.

But right at me.

And I hugged her, instead.

What is it -- am I destined to mis-read every woman on the planet?

Home in my bed, I mulled it over. The plan -- the plan -- had been to silently maintain my flame for Lady Friend. As long as it took. Lady Friend sent me a long email Thursday, and then another Friday when I didn't answer her Thursday one. And then called me. But reminded me, I think, that she preferred me to be a friend than someone worshipping her from afar. Perfectly reasonable.

That same morning the second woman -- let's call her Bachelorette #2 -- emailed with those magic words every guy secretly longs to hear. "I'm moving far away. Very soon."

No chance for a long-term relationship. Yet interested in good-night kisses. And, she invited me over....

No ambiguity now; if I accept the invitation, I'm pretty sure I know where it's going to lead. And it's what part of me wants. I'd told myself I've grown in the last few months -- more mature, confident, no need to say yes to anyone who's available.

But no-strings... That's got to be a plus in the experience reservoir. Assuming it can really be this easy. And disregarding entirely the possibility that I piss off the friend who knew her, and that friend's friend...

The problem is, trying to weigh this option, I just come up with an overwhelming "positive." Anything sexy registers as positive, no matter what the specifics are. And companionship -- also positive. Can it really be this easy?

Maybe if I just have a long talk with Bachelorette #2, and tell her exactly where I'm coming from... If I make sure she's okay with that -- then, maybe, it really is that rarity of rarities: no strings.

If there is a problem, it's that I never really came up with an overall strategy for -- er, "the field," I guess. It's always been shrouded in mystique and mystery -- especially back when we were all teenagers, hiding our thoughts from our parents. Maybe this time I'll finally get some perspective. Or, er, after this time...

What about my secret flame for Lady Friend -- my hopes, the very real dreams, and that growing sense of caring for another person?

I looked at a picture of her today. For a moment I thought I was about to weep.

Okay, I admit it. I don't know what's the right thing to do next....

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