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2/05/02 - 8:43 p.m.

I think alot of things just piled up. Like Christmas. I played computer games for hours, hoping I could eat up the entire day, so that by the time I realized it was Christmas, it would be over. That night I went to the movies by myself. I actually had a good time, enjoying both the computer games and the movie. But scampering around in fear of everyone else's ritual making me inescapably depressed -- well, I'm not sure I solved that problem so much as avoided it. And maybe that leaves a lingering depression.

The other traumatic experience was the quest to retain health insurance. They'd send me a letter saying they were cutting off my coverage, because my check was late. I'd already sent it in, several weeks before, but apparently the checks sit in a lock-box for a while before they're forwarded to a different address across the country and then cashed. So my check didn't arrive before the insurers had issued the cancellation letter. It was so poorly worded I didn't know whether my health insurance had already been irrevokably cut off, or if I was still in their grace period.

And I had to wait until the Cobra office re-opened the next day to find out. Then when I did, their voice-mail maze went to a dead end -- a non-consensual transfer to a voice-mailbox, since all operators "are busy helping other customers." Except that that voicemail box was full; after informing you of this, it unceremoniously hung up. Quickly pressing 'O' -- for "if this is an emergency" -- still transferred you to the (full) voicemail box. Which continued hanging up on you.

I was angry. But it didn't help. Then I felt disempowered. And depressed.

Ironically, when I did get through, they told me my insurance had already been reactivated, and that my coverage was still extant. Three days later, though, the drug store said it wasn't, refusing to hand over the coronary pills unless I paid for it out of pocket. Apparently the pharmacists only update their list of who's covered twice a week -- and drat the luck, I'd just missed the last update.

And so I left town to go to Vegas. Where I got depressed. And so I came home.

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