03/10/09 - 5:22 p.m.

So I've got this sad pit in my stomach after talking to my girlfriend.

It's just that she didn't look for a job today. And I decided a while back that I have to let that go - that I can't expect specific things from her. But it's also hard to be the guy that has to watch her fall down again and again.

I guess that's it. I just wanted to say that. Well, also, she ended the conversation kind of quick, saying she was "in a weird place." I'd called up to offer moral support, and I didn't get to, and also, she seems like she's out of control.

I don't really know what to do - or if I should do something. But more than that, I just feel "shut out" by the way it ended. And, yeah, why shouldn't I feel a little chilled by that?

Anyways, I guess that helped get it out of me (writing that just now).