06/04/06 - 12:20 a.m.

So I should really keep track of things better.

This afternoon I got to thinking that all the time I waste trying to have "unstructured" time is mis-directed - since I'm afraid to look inside long enough to figure out what I want to do with it. Maybe I'm just afraid of surrending the false security that NOT looking inside was always imagined to give me.

And right now I'm a little sad, looking for something cool on the net, one last piece of affirmation before going to bed. Maybe the sadness comes in those moments when I walk away from the things I want to do - in the name of unstructured time - instead of sticking with them.

By tomorrow I will probably have forgotten all this.

I just hope I can remember how much fun I was having sticking to the thing I'd been working on. Maybe that's the key - having fun while you do it.