8/25/02 - 4:10 p.m.

Sunday afternoon, and I'm bored. I don't know which is worse - going in to my job five days a week, or these existential weekends where I meander around mourning my lost freedom, while still remaining powerless to change it. (After typing that, I made myself look through a job posting site...)

I was pleased to find a comment in my guestbook from AntiProfound. She noticed, I guess, that the entries are shorter and somewhat more pre-occupied. It's true; I just don't feel like I have these endless vistas of free time any more. This may sound strange, but I think I was happier when I was unemployed.

Maybe I need to find a dirt cheap apartment somewhere in the boondocks -- and then just take all the money I've earned so far and hide out from the working world.

I always get this way towards the end of the weekend. And despite my big plans, I still haven't done laundry. I'm afraid to count up how many weeks it's been.

But you know what's funny? As down as it seems I am, this may all be a good thing. A psychologist once said that when you come to grips with all the garbage from your past - you have to work your way through it. And then, yeah, that brings you down, but only because you're breaking through to the other side.

Anyways, right now I'm just drifting around waiting for my life to get better. And right now?

There's still a few hours left. Maybe I'll go do laundry.