3/16/02 - 3:37 p.m.

Lady Friend and I went shopping today. All morning. I loved it.

We chattered non-stop -- news of her life, observations, anecdotes, schemes. She hugged me at the beginning, and at the end, her smile, her hair... I stared after her as she drove away, thinking what a beautiful person. Compassion, dedication, all the good things that come with extra years -- wisdom, insight, spirit and clarity...

It had been nearly four weeks since I'd seen her. It was the day she'd told me that she wasn't ready yet to be dating, after all.

And so I'd answered a personal ad. Lady Friend can't expect me to wait forever, I'd said. And so the date arrived last night. An expensive dinner of nervous conversation -- then back to my place, where we got all the way to second base. It felt good. It's been a while. I think that was my date's agenda too. But maybe that's just wishful thinking.

I'm telling myself this two-woman arrangement is perfectly acceptable. Lady Friend will be unavailable for a long time. Any serious relationship attempt with Friday Date will inevitably fall apart. And in the mean time I draw good things from both women, sampling the glorious bounty that this world has to offer. Like in the lyrics of a Sinatra song....

Am I being unfair to Friday Date? Or am I simply an innocent bystander observing her own personal train wreck. Guilty only of failing to intervene.

I even attempted to do the right thing -- telling Friday Date where I was coming from, that I was of course jumping into this way too fast, out of loneliness, and this wasn't necessarily an emotional response to who she was.

I tried.

And then Lady Friend and I went shopping this morning.

And I loved it.